Nottingham Fri 23rd to Sun 25th April 2004
The
Birmingham contingent gathered in the OR for some opening snifters from 14:30.
Simon and Ian arriving at 15:00 followed by Best man Big Dave and then Ted. At
one stage it appeared that Tone was bringing his Misses along but it turned out
she was only dropping him off. After initial concern about Steve’s whereabouts
he arrived at 3:30 in a particularly jolly mood (of which more later). Most
chaps consuming 3-4 pints before ambling to New Street for the train to
Nottingham
After
a bit of a scrum at the ticket kiosk at which a reasonable block discount was
negotiated it was onto the train. It was at this stage that Steve started to
become rather animated, and the transformation of his phone into a music player
managed to illicit complaints from a neighbouring chess playing passenger. It
duly transpired that Steve had been consuming vast quantities of alcohol since
leaving work at 11:00.
Taxis
from the station and check in to the hotel were uneventful and after a swift
turnaround and following Chap’s discovery of no draught ale in the hotel bar
the group gathered over the road in Lloyds for food and remarkably cheap beers.
Simon’s Bradford mates started arriving and
introductions made. The ever larger group ten set off on mass for a tour of the
local hostelries, although by now controlling Steve was becoming more difficult.
A particularly Taz like entrance in one bar sent a few pints flying but the
friendly locals were calmed down with a few apologies from the chaps.
Next
pub was the Piano and Pitcher a rather spectacular church conversion in which
Steve made a remarkable late entrance by navigating straight through a four deep
queue at the bar to immediately get served a pint of Guinness
(perhaps he’d booked it ahead), although his assault on the vertiginous
stairs to the third floor toilets looked much less impressive and Steve was soon
afterwards escorted back to the hotel by his new minder Jez.
On
to tables outside La Tasca for pitchers of San Miguel enjoying the balmy August
like weather. Jonnie form London arrived next - talked in by mobile phone.
By
now we were getting hungry and Curry beckoned. A short walk ensued but was too
much for Tone who bailed out 50ft from our destination for the first of several
freestyle wanders around central Nottingham. A decent if rather slow and pricey
curry was rounded off by the Naan king in usual pose, back to the hotel and bed
by 01:30
Most of the chaps made it down for breakfast and Ian departed, he’d originally planned to leave the previous night but a spare bed had beckoned before finding his way to the station and onwards to a Tory gangbang training session in his adopted Dudley home.
At
breakfast Dave announced that he was declining the days activities and promptly
returned to bed. Rumours of him negotiating a high usage discount on the
hotel’s adult channel however appear to be unfounded.
It
was a lovely sunny morning outside and Mike promptly turned up in his new Merc
to lead a sporadic convoy to the paintballing site We
were the last party to arrive and were soon
kitted out in the required one size fits all combat
gear. Things have
moved on since Simbers and Sponge used to go paintballing at Bassets Pole, with
the modern guns firing 180 mph projectiles at 7 rounds / sec - ouch!
The chaps were split up for the Three games, Phil impressively getting through 400 rounds of ammo in the first twenty minutes. Lack of fitness was evident in some of the team who appeared relieved when finally splatted. At the end of the session Simbers and Big Dave were gunned down mercilessly by the rest of the group and Dave being a larger, slower target came off worse as his backside testifies.
Convoy to the country pub ensued for lunch although a cock up in ordering meant we had a rush to get to the go karting site. Dave’s extra dinner being enjoyed by Phil’s new friend. Also joined by Brian the group’s token Bluenose.
Elements
of the convoy got lost on route to the go kart centre and we arrived just in
time to catch the drivers briefing. An endurance raced followed with some
serious looking teams involved and us lot split into three teams -
Sim’s Bradford mates, and the larger and smaller chaps (It seemed
logical at the time). By now we had also been joined by Alistair the retired oil
trader turned Dorset caravan park owner.
Phil
showed an early turn of speed and his team were holding 2nd place
until Sim’s black flag incident pushed them down
the rankings. Final positions were 8th, 11th and 12th
with the larger chaps bringing up the rear, excuses ranging from poor tyre
selection, dodgy damper settings and aerodynamic set-ups to general difficulty in
squeezing out of the seat at change over and racing when still half pi**ed.
Back
to Nottingham and as soon as we parked Tone took off on another wander to join
us later. Phil, Nige Skipper and Jez had gone awol despite instructions to be in
Lloyds at 19:00 turning up at 21:00. with
Jez proudly having consumed four pints before 8:30.
By now Syrup had arrived, in a state of some distress having only provisionally booked his hotel room, which was now taken!. So much for his corporate booking (he ended up kipping on Simber’s and Dave’s floor).
By now we were too late for the planned trip to the canalside bars so an alternative was selected, the chaps gathered around comfy leather sofas and almost immediately Ted was engaged in conversation with a couple of young ladies, we all thought that Ted had found his very own Maid Marion but he thought better of it and retreated to another chair.
Soon
after Sponge’s ‘dodgy guts’ kicked in and he retired from the action
Eventually
we made a move for the Palais Night club, although once more Tone went AWOL this
time accompanied by Rog. The rest were confronted by a huge queue at the club.
Just as we got to the front Diane’s hen party turned up but failed in an
attempt to jump the queue. Once in the foyer security was tighter than Doug’s
wallet, with metal detectors reminiscent of Heathrow. Unfortunately it was not
worth the wait. We had arrived on Ministry of Sound night and the local Gangstas
were in town hence the security. A swift drink and we departed on a search for a
more conducive spot, although the super sticky carpet did bring memories of Sam
Wellers flooding back.
Eventually
we wandered into the Reflex 80’s bar which was much more the
chap’s scene,
and we were encamped on the revolving dance floor until kicked out at 01:00.
Off
next to the Sapna the Bradford boys
favourite subterranean curry house. A decent curry at a reasonable price with an
amazingly high percentage of the chaps having stayed the course. Nigel surpassed
his previous evenings exploits with a second highly creative
Naan mountain, attracting the admiration of both the Manager and staff.
On
the way back to the hotel there was some debate about throwing Simbers into the
fountain but by showing a rare turn of speed he was able to outstrip the
pursuit. The night was rounded off by Steve generously
buying a around of night cap whiskies at the hotel bar and narrowly
avoiding a heart attack when handed the bill
In the
morning after watching highlights of Villa’s victory over Boro on the hotel TV
we were checked out with Phil being charged £8 for allegedly just 30
seconds of adult channel, although we are yet to see Dave’s bill from Saturday
afternoon!
A gentle
walk to the station and after some
typical confusion over platform numbers we were back in the OR by 13:30 to round
off a pretty successful weekend. Roll on 8th May
Supplied by Simber's, edited & piccy highlights by Chap 10.05.04