In anticipation of Old Man Dave turning 50 next year am taking a Chap Canvas to see if anybody fancies a fell-walking/beer drinking weekend in Ambleside in the Lake District between Friday 6th and Sunday 8th February next year.
Fell Walking Optional-Beer Drinking and Food Munching Mandatory. Dave will be hoping to complete the 214th Fell of his 214 Wainwright Challenge.
If any body is interested then let Dave know by e-mail
FYI - Dave, Heggy, Chap, Jan, Tone & Jo are already booked in at the Best Western Salutation Hotel in Ambleside.
Way back in November, by way of a celebration of two approaching milestones (his 50th birthday and the 214th and final fell of his "wainwright challenge"). Dave threw open an open invitation for any chaps/chappesses to join him for a jaunt to Ambleside in the lake district, a BTW (bring the wife) option if you like, over the first weekend of February 2015. A good number of responses later and, despite a slight de-railing of Colonel Simbers plans in the days beforehand, four cars were heading up the motorway on a frosty friday morning. Somewhat spookily all of the vehicles arrived within a 20 minute window at the familiar resting stop of Charnock Richard service station on the northbound M6, even after allowing for Mr Hegarty having to make an unscheduled stop to drop the kids off in the pool at Keele services. A couple of minor accidents did slow the progress onwards but nevertheless, all parties were present and correct at the Salutation hotel for the scheduled check in time of 3 o'clock. At this point plans were (sort of) put in place-an early beer at the hotel bar for all-followed by a trip to the hotel swimming pool for some-others remained at the bar whilst Phil wavered between the two options. He eventually opted to head into town in search of some canary yellow, micro-junior budgie smugglers as a "treat!!!!!!" for the unfortunate pool goers-however he returned with a relatively modest black number that happily smoothed out all the bumps in the road and left any possible ginger root sightings relatively well-hidden. The pool proved to be a decent relaxing experience-nice warm water, good jacuzzi and steam and sauna rooms to sweat out the weeks excesses. A nice bonus was the outside jacuzzi that Dave, Chap, Phil, Kitty and Tone discovered and made full use of. Chap fancied the cigar and bottle of champers option but this would have to wait for another time. Back into the sauna-where Tone steamed straight in, emptying a full bucket of water onto the coals without waiting to be asked by the people already in there-needless to say the chaps soon had the room all to themselves. In the meantime Heggy and Nige were maintaining a steady pace in the hotel bar-possibly a dangerous move on Simons behalf as this was his first chaps session for some time and he had probably forgotten the capacity of some of the boys beer drinking abilities. At 7 pm though Jo, Jan, Steve H and Ian had also recharged their batteries and the whole party headed off to Churchills Bar, where Tone and Phil were keen to watch the rugby on the big screen. Thwaites Wainwright (very appropriately and tastily) was on draught for the ale chaps and decent lagers and ciders flowed nicely too for the rest of the party. The rugger was a decent ding-dong battle with the red rose grinding out an old-style hard fought win over the taffs-this allowed for some Dave-taunting to follow-well it would be boring if we were all shouting for the same side wouldn't it!!!!!! The retro feel for the evening continued as the rugby was followed by that other 90s staple-the karaoke. And after a subdued start, the chaps, buoyed by several beers (and a simbers phone call informing them that he had dosed Di up wth enough morphine to anaesthetise your average 70s rock band and would be joining the tour on the following morning at 0900 hours sharp), eventually entered into the spirit of the occasion and took to the floor to show Cumbria their singing er...... talents set list (from sketchy memory) Heggy and Dave-Burning Love by Elvis Tone (I think)-Whole of the Moon by the Waterboys Phil-Summat by Someone I cant remember Ian-Monkey Man by the Specials (or maybe this didn't happen) Nige-Streets of London by Ralph Mctell-delivered legs crossed a la val doonican pose, sitting down on top of a bar chair delivered in the style of Star Treks William Shatner-pure gold!!!!!! Each turn seemed to be followed by a variety of free grog, for example WKD-seized upon and quaffed by Steve H and to which he switched for the rest of the evening and some weird shots drunk by Tone and Dave, that appeared to be served in vinegar bottles After this things got a little furry Nige, Phil, Dave and Heggy (by now standing up by sheer willpower alone) headed for the Cellar Bar-this had a DJ-who was playing some broad street beep beep music alongside a few old classics-some girl on the dancefloor took the piss out of Daves trainers and then tried to dance on top of them-all very strange but not unpleasant. But at 1 o'clock the evening was over and all slunk and staggered back to the Salutation SATURDAY The day of THE walk Saturday greeted everybody with glorious sunshine-huzzah! Hotel breakfast was reasonable-though Phil was upset with the tardy arrival of his morning coffee and threw a "Michael Winner"-this may have had something to do with him kipping in the bath on Friday night-and although this spared roomie Kit from the infamous Porkers Corkers it had left Mr A feeling somewhat less than refreshed. He consoled himself with the 14 boiled eggs he smuggled into his bobble hat and slacks pockets-however his feeling of having pulled off the coup of the century was slightly dampened by the fact that the waiter managed to clock him but was completely indifferent to his egg theft skills and greeted his feat with a somewhat gallic shrug of the shoulders. Colonel Simbers proved to be as good as his word, despite a loo roll, light switch and trousers around ankles incident in the dark at a garage toilet en route, was seated in place for his toast and egg soldiers as the main party came blinking, heads-a-throbbing down the stairs Mr Hegarty unfortunately did not make it to breakfast but managed to emerge just in time for the start of the walk, looking like something that Sponge would have vomitted up in the bog, circa 1986 However he got there and the party of 10 (with Jo and Jan opting for a day of planned relaxation at the hotel) set off towards the waterfalls at Stock Ghyll, where unfortunately the presence of a local vagrant detracted somewhat from the scenic surroundings of the falls and the beck by coming around begging for 10p to buy a cup of cough syrup, a syringe and a ticket for the next Small Heath home match. The walk up to the top of Wansfell Pike would normally be nothing more than a stroll up the path in hill-walking terms. However there were some patches of ice underfoot-which made progress quite sporting Ian had quite a few tumbles and must have felt quite embarassed when a 70 something pensioner offered to help him carry his bag after one spectacular spill followed by his patented "simian leicester-on-ice soft shoe shuffle" Phil pressed on ahead but the rest of the team interchanged positions while Tone and Steve H manfully brought up the rear at a slightly more leisurely pace. Tone, perspiring furiously, could not even summon up the breath to get a drag on a cigarette, but in an act reminiscent of Scott of the Antarctic, managed to reach the lower summit of Wansfell Pike after much encouragement from the rest (Whale of the Lakes or Whale of Windermere-chaps to decide?) a truly impressive effort!!!!!!!!! The Colonel made his map calculations and the main summit of Wansfell was soon reached. This brought out the 50th birthday banners and an extra one for absent friends (Shout out for Stevie B). Also in celebration of Daves completion of his Wainwright Challenge three bottles of champagne magically appeared-a great surprise and excellent way to top off the occasion-also the snow cooled the bottles very nicely. Kitty then noted that the summit was something of an anti-climax and after another map consultation it was realised that a Colonel miscalculation had taken place and that the true summit lay another mile off to the north. After another trudge this was finally reached and more champers was taken on board. The descent was then merely a long gentle trudge down to Troutbeck-Tone, Steve and Chap had already taken the short straight direct route to the bar at the Mortal Man Hotel-where a taxi back to base topped off their afternoon tipples nicely. Whereas the rest of the group trudged the whole way back via the churned up bridleway, only stopping for toilet breaks (keep the change Kit) and for Phil to show off his lugeless luge skills. The group chatted, then straggled and spread out a bit for the last mile up the A road only to be passed by the three taxi-bound herberts coming back from the MM. Back to the hotel-back to the pool The pool was much busier on his occasion-Simbers and Ian joined the Friday Dippers but couldnt wangle a spot in the outdoor jacuzzi to soothe away the aches of the day. However Kitty and Dave adopted the more patient approach and this paid off as they managed to blag the outdoor bubbles all to themselves as day turned into night and the stars began to appear-all very splendid. The only downside of which was the very cold run back to the main building after climbing out of the wooden tub-the shrieks of the "icerun" scaring the life out of the sole occupant of the swimming pool, who had believed herself to be completely alone in the building. At seven(ish), after allowing for a quick half hours' "gentleman" break, the trek for food began-Dodds was way too busy as Ambleside proved to be rather rammed full for a Saturday night at the start of February. Eventually concensus was reached and with people now nibbling on their own arms the local Cantonese drew the travellers in, after Phil had managed to blag a table for 12 in the restaurant annex. The food, wine, chinese lager and fortune cookies were all reasonable enough but Friday nights excesses were starting to tell on everybody and there were a couple of earlyish departures prior to the next stop of the Ambleside Tavern. There was a live musician on in the Tavern, who was pretty good (acoustic versions of a Town called Malice, Everlong by the Foo Fighters were stand outs along with the old Summer of '69 standard) as most of the chaps switched to the "back up mode" of gin and tonic supping-whoever would have thought it!!!!!!! although Nige die Cidermauss stook with the boudoir of the apple. After a while a gaggle of very orange and very northern women then came in, sat down by the chaps and asked where the lively spots of Ambleside were-Phil told them his room number at the hotel-an offer that remained curiously untaken unfortunately but that was probably just as well as he had given out Heggys room number in error-and Mr H was still looking a bit peaky round the gills at this point. However the G and Ts slid down well and most of the chaps stuck it out in the beer sadde 'til about 12:30, leaving Phil and die CM to see things through to the bitter end and 2 o'clock closing time SUNDAY Sunday dawned foggy-both weather and headwise-Simbers took off early to hurry home to get Di down from the ceiling and Tone,Jo, Chap, Jan and Ian followed shortly behind him-just leaving the remaining party members to take the short trip to Rydal Water to visit the caves-the first one of which was a bit of a let down-Phil and Dave scrambling down to the bottom of the first cave to be met by the sight of a wee-soaked mattress. This shall from now on be known as "the cave of disappointment" Luckily there was a much more impressive amphitheatre round the next corner so a few photos were taken before the journey home. Back on the M6 by 1 o clockish and all chaps, chapesses, apes, colonels, cidermice later reported as safely back home in time for tea and countryfile Once again a huge thanks to one and all for a great trip from Dave Hope you all had a great time not always easy to please a party of 12 but hopefully there was something there for everyone We never did the pub crawl so 51st next year??????????????